how to flirt over text

From Emojis to Subtle Teasing: A Guide on How to Flirt Over Text

In the digital age, the art of conversation has evolved to include texting, an integral part of our dating lives. Learning how to flirt over text not only helps you connect with others on a deeper level, but it can also ignite sparks of intrigue and interest. In this guide, we’ll share invaluable tips, techniques, and examples that will enable you to become a text-flirting maestro.

Getting Started: The First Text

First Text

The first text is a significant step. It sets the tone for the rest of your interactions, making it crucial to put some thought into it. Here are some points to consider:

  • Strike a Balance: You want to be friendly and approachable, but not overly familiar. Avoid overly intimate language or pet names at this stage. A simple “Hey there! How’s your day going?” strikes the right balance of friendly and interested.
  • Open-Ended Questions: Instead of a simple “Hi” or “Hello,” consider using an open-ended question to spark a conversation. This will give the person an easy way to respond and show them you’re interested in hearing from them. For example, “Hey, I saw your post about hiking. What’s your favorite trail?”
  • Personalized Messages: Reference a past conversation, shared experience, or something you know they like. This shows attention to detail and that you’ve been paying attention. For example, “Good morning! I just walked past a bookshop and saw the new book from that author you love. Have you read it?”
  • Humorous Approach: A light-hearted or funny first text can also break the ice. However, make sure your humor is easy to understand through text, and isn’t offensive or overly sarcastic. For instance, “Do you have a map? Because I just got lost in your Instagram pictures.”
  • Keep It Brief: Your first text shouldn’t be a novel. It’s just a conversation starter. A long, multi-part text might feel overwhelming. Keep your message brief and inviting, with an easy hook for them to respond to.

Remember, your initial text message should set a positive, intriguing tone that encourages further conversation. It’s your first chance to make a good impression, so make sure it’s an inviting and interesting one.

5 Text Flirting Techniques

Flirting Techniques

Flirting over text is a fine art that requires a balance of humor, creativity, and sincerity. Here are some techniques to help you master it:

1. Using Humor and Wit

Engaging someone through humor and wit is an effective way to lighten the mood and capture their attention. It showcases your fun side and makes you more approachable. You don’t have to turn into a stand-up comedian, but a well-timed, lighthearted joke or a playful, witty remark can inject joy into your conversation.


  • “Did you know I’m a cat whisperer? Yesterday, a cat meowed at me, and I meowed back. We had quite the conversation.”
  • “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together.”
  • “Did you know that my keyboard thinks we’re meant to be? Every time I type ‘best’, it autocorrects to ‘next’.”
  • “Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, but no atmosphere. Thought this joke would tickle your fancy.”
  • “I’m currently deciding between watching a horror movie or doing laundry. It’s really a toss-up on which is scarier.”
  • “I’ve just realized that my life is basically a cycle of waiting for the next meal. Isn’t it the same for you?”

2. Complimenting Genuinely and Appropriately

Everyone loves receiving compliments, and if they’re genuine and appropriate, they can be an effective way to express admiration. Compliment their character traits, personal achievements, or unique skills rather than focusing only on physical attributes. It could be their humor, taste in music, or even the way they express their thoughts.


  • “I really admire how passionate you are about your art. It’s refreshing to see such dedication.”
  • “I have to say, your ability to explain complex things so simply is impressive. It’s a rare gift.”
  • “I’ve noticed you have an amazing way with words. Your emails are always so well articulated.”
  • “Your creativity really shines through in the way you redesign your space. It’s inspiring!”
  • “You have an amazing ability to understand complex concepts. It’s quite remarkable.”

3. Using Emoticons, GIFs, and Other Visual Elements

Emojis, GIFs, and stickers can give your words a new dimension, adding a playful and emotional tone to your conversation. They can help convey your feelings more accurately, reducing the risk of misinterpretation. However, it’s important to use them sparingly and appropriately.


  • Responding to an exciting story with a shocked face emoji (😱).
  • Sending a gif of a crowd cheering when they share good news.
  • Responding to their funny story with a laughing emoji (😂).
  • Sending a heart-eye emoji (😍) when they share a picture of their pet.

4. Subtle Teasing and Playful Banter

Playful banter is an art of light-hearted, friendly teasing that creates a bond between two people. It’s about finding humor in each other’s quirks and differences, creating a playful and casual atmosphere. Remember, teasing should never hurt their feelings or come off as rude.


  • “I can’t believe you like pineapple on pizza. I’m not sure we can be friends anymore. 😄”
  • If they are a die-hard fan of a particular music band, you might playfully say, “So, you like their music? I hope that’s not a deal-breaker for us!”
  • “I heard you’re a great cook. Maybe I’ll risk being your taste-tester one day.”
  • “You’re a coffee lover? Oh no, and here I thought we could be friends despite my love for tea.”
  • “I heard you’re a big fan of winter. As someone who’s always cold, I find that hard to comprehend.”

5. Building Intrigue and Mystery

Keeping a sense of mystery and intrigue can make your conversation more engaging. Instead of revealing everything about yourself at once, disclose it bit by bit. This not only keeps the conversation going but also evokes their interest to know more about you.


  • “I have an unusual pet. Can you guess what it is?”
  • “Guess what? I tried a new adventure sport this weekend,” and then let them ask about it.
  • “I just came back from the most fascinating place. Care to guess where?”
  • “You’ll never guess what new hobby I’ve picked up this quarantine.”
  • “I’ve got an interesting story from my walk today, but I’ll only tell you if you’re interested.”

Remember, the key to successful text flirting is balance. Be playful but respectful, show your interest but maintain a little mystery. With these techniques, you’ll keep your conversations fun, engaging, and flirtatious.

Understanding and Navigating Boundaries

Navigating Boundaries

Flirting over text can be a fun and exciting experience, but it’s crucial to understand and respect the boundaries. Here are some tips on how to navigate this aspect:

1. Understanding Comfort Levels

Everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to flirting and personal topics. Pay close attention to how they respond to your messages. If they seem uncomfortable or do not engage with a particular line of conversation, steer the chat towards a more neutral topic. It’s essential to ensure both parties are comfortable with the conversation’s tone and content.

2. Respecting Personal Space

Texting gives us access to people round the clock, but that doesn’t mean they’re always available. Avoid bombarding them with messages if they don’t respond immediately. They might be busy, or simply need some space. Always respect their time and personal space.

3. Being Mindful of Language

Language is a powerful tool, and how you use it can impact the other person’s comfort. Avoid strong language, crude jokes, or anything that might be seen as offensive. Keeping the conversation light, fun, and respectful is key to successful flirting over text.

4. Maintaining an Emotional Balance

While it’s okay to share feelings and emotions, avoid becoming too emotionally intense too soon. Maintain a balance between light-hearted flirtation and deeper emotional connections. If you’re unsure of how your emotional expression will be received, it’s always better to tread lightly.

5. Dealing with Rejection Gracefully

It’s possible that your flirtatious texts may not be reciprocated. In such cases, it’s important to handle the situation with grace and understanding. Everyone has the right to set their own boundaries, and these should be respected.

Remember, understanding and navigating boundaries is not just about avoiding crossing lines, but also about creating a safe and comfortable space where both parties can enjoy the conversation.

4 Common Mistakes to Avoid

Common Mistakes

Flirting over text, while fun and exciting, is also fraught with potential pitfalls. It’s essential to be aware of common mistakes that can potentially hinder your progress.

1. Overusing Acronyms and Abbreviations

While abbreviations like “lol”, “brb”, or “idk” are common in text speak, relying too heavily on them can make your conversations seem impersonal or lazy. Remember, your texts are a reflection of your communication style. Strive for complete, well-constructed sentences that demonstrate thoughtfulness and effort. For example, instead of “idk, wdyt?” try “I’m not sure about that. What do you think?”

2. Misinterpretation and Misunderstanding

Texting lacks the facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language that help convey meaning in face-to-face interactions. Consequently, sarcasm or jokes may not land as intended and can lead to misunderstandings. To avoid this, be clear with your expressions. If a joke or sarcasm is intended, you might use emojis or “haha” to indicate the playful tone.

3. Being Overly Available or Needy

While it’s crucial to show interest, responding instantly to every text or continuously initiating conversation can make you seem needy. Maintain a balance. Show them you’re interested but also have a life beyond the screen. For instance, if you’re genuinely busy, it’s okay to reply later with an explanation rather than rushing a response.

4. Over-texting or Spamming

Bombarding them with numerous texts without giving them a chance to respond can be overwhelming. It’s essential to respect their personal space and time. Texting should be a back-and-forth exchange. If you find yourself sending multiple messages without a response, take a step back and give them time to reply.

By avoiding these common errors, you can ensure that your text flirtations are well-received and effective. Remember, the aim is to build a connection and maintain a fun, light-hearted atmosphere. Keeping these potential pitfalls in mind will help you succeed in the art of flirting over text.


1. How to flirt with a guy over text?

When flirting with a guy, be genuine and confident. Compliment him on his qualities or achievements, use light-hearted humor, and show interest in his interests or hobbies. Remember to respect his personal space and don’t bombard him with texts. Engage in playful banter, and build intrigue and mystery to keep him interested. Always remember to respect his comfort level and boundaries.

2. How to flirt with a girl over text?

While flirting with a girl, sincerity is key. Compliment her genuinely and be interested in her thoughts and opinions. Light humor, teasing, and witty replies can make the conversation enjoyable. Don’t rush into personal or intimate topics; keep it light and casual initially. Use emojis to add a playful tone, but avoid overdoing it. Just like with guys, ensure you respect her personal space, and always understand and respect her boundaries.

3. How to flirt sexually over text?

Flirting sexually over text requires a higher level of mutual comfort and understanding. Only venture into this territory if you are sure the other person is comfortable and has given their consent. Start subtly and escalate slowly, being mindful of their responses. Using innuendos and double entendre can create a sexual undertone. However, it’s crucial to respect boundaries, and if they show any signs of discomfort, immediately steer the conversation back to a neutral tone.

4. How to subtly flirt over text?

Subtle flirting is all about the nuances. Start with a light compliment or a shared interest to initiate the conversation. Use humor and wit to keep the conversation engaging. Building a sense of mystery and anticipation can also be a form of subtle flirting, keeping them intrigued to know more about you. Remember to keep the conversation casual, fun, and respectful, and never push if they seem uncomfortable.


Mastering how to flirt over text is a skill that can enhance your dating life and personal relationships. It’s an art form worth practicing, so use these tips and start igniting sparks today. Remember, respect and genuine interest form the basis of any successful flirting.

AboutCorinne Switzer

Corinne is an avid reader and takes a keen interest in conspiracy theories. When not busy with her day job, she likes to indulge the writer in her and pens columns on a wide range of topics that cover everything from entertainment, healthy living to healthcare and more.